Death and the Facebook Page

My mother was in the process of shifting to a new home telephone number earlier this year and as a result, she missed out on the usual midnight telephone call informing her of a loved one's death. In fact, when my father's youngest sister died in January of this year, the first news she received of it came from me -- and only because I had been fortunate enough to check my Facebook page soon after my aunt died.

After all the telephone calls I had received in the past that had informed me of the deaths of various out-of-state relatives, it seemed strange that the first notice of my aunt's death came from a notice on my Facebook page that had been posted by one of her adult children. Then again I remember being so out of sorts after the death of my father -- and then again after the death of my sister -- that I could readily understand why my aunt's children did not bother to make telephone calls to everyone who was related to her. Especially since a notice on Facebook was much easier.

Still I had badmouthed Facebook so much in the past that it seems equally strange for me to be saying anything good about it right now. After all, as much as fun as it can be on Facebook on times, I must admit that it is not really my cup of tea. If I did not have so many friends and relatives who posted on Facebook, I would have nothing to do with it -- and even then, I can't help but noticing that my older relatives post less frequently than my younger relatives. And that most of the time I have more informative conversations with the same people through e-mail than through Facebook (no doubt because there are many things one feels more comfortable talking about through E-mail than through Facebook).

Oh, well. I will probably always have issues with Facebook but I can't pretend that it can not be a positive thing at times. After all, if it were not for Facebook, my mother and my youngest brother would have missed the opportunity to attend my aunt's funeral. And while it goes without saying that I would have wished that my aunt's funeral were still a long way off in the future, I consider it much better that my mother and my brother at least had a choice as to whether or not they would attend her funeral. After all, that choice could have been very easily taken away from them by circumstances beyond their control. Thanks to Facebook, it was not.

Will the Real Tonio Kruger Please Log On?

It's tempting to pretend otherwise but this isn't my Facebook page. In fact, I don't even have a Facebook account under the name of Tonio Kruger though I've been tempted to apply for one. And no, I don't really look like the guy in that photograph. Not even in my dreams. Not that he's bad-looking; he's just not me.

For what it's worth, this isn't me either. Seriously.

You Can't Log Onto Home Again

Should I not find it sad that whenever I log onto Facebook to correspond with my cousins, I find myself wanting to save anything major for private E-mail? And that more often than not, I end up sharing more of my thoughts with the strangers on other sites than with the relatives I've known since childhood?

Then again it has generally taken me years to find out some personal stuff about people I meet face-to-face every day. Not just casual acquaintances but good friends and co-workers.

It's gotten to the point where I don't really trust anyone who spills that much of their guts on Facebook because I'm so used to having to get to know someone slowly. But then the best relationships don't develop overnight and aren't necessarily enhanced by a computer.

Prima Power

My paternal cousins in Detroit are on a mission to get our entire family on Facebook. And indeed, it's surprising how many of my extended family are already on that site.

Of course, considering how large most Mexican-American families were in my father's generation, I should not find this surprising. As my mother once joked, when my siblings and I were born in the early 1960s, four children was considered a small family. By the time we hit high school in the 1970s, four children was considered a large family.

When my paternal relatives had a picture taken at a female cousin's wedding, so many people were in attendance from the bride's side of the family that the photographer had to use the same two-camera system most photographers use to photograph high school graduation ceremonies. (And that was just the relatives who managed to show up.)

Anyway, I suspect my cousins are on a mission to take over Facebook.

And what will they do tomorrow night?

Why, the same thing they do every night...