Pensamientos Acerca de Televisión

Upstart Crow: “Go On and I Will Follow”

Just when I thought writer Ben Elton had become totally predictable, he wrote an episode that hit me in the stomach. Not literally, of course, but metaphorically. And this reaction was from an episode I saw before the recent health crisis.

Pop Song of the Week: "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"

I was going to post the Helen Ward version of this song since that is the version I most listen to and that's obviously my favorite. But then when I was doing research on the Internet, I discovered this live cover version -- made by the one singer I would have never associated with this song. And she sings it Latin style as well -- which makes her a honorary Latina.

Sadly, the singer in question is no longer with us but then neither are a lot of people I think about nowadays. Then again it's always depressing to reflect upon the number of young celebrities that I managed to outlive.

Pensamientos Acerca de Televisión

NCIS: New Orleans: “Tick Tock”

So now the Angel of Death is a regular character on this show? She's been on three episodes so far this season -- including this one. I don't suppose the writers are trying to tell us something...

Movie Quote of the Week

What's with Mexicans and death!
--Trey Bumpass, The Book of Life (2014)

Fantasy Quote of the Week

We're all hurling towards death. Some of us just run faster.
--Lizzie Hyde in Viola Carr's The Diabolical Miss Hyde

Death and the Facebook Page

My mother was in the process of shifting to a new home telephone number earlier this year and as a result, she missed out on the usual midnight telephone call informing her of a loved one's death. In fact, when my father's youngest sister died in January of this year, the first news she received of it came from me -- and only because I had been fortunate enough to check my Facebook page soon after my aunt died.

After all the telephone calls I had received in the past that had informed me of the deaths of various out-of-state relatives, it seemed strange that the first notice of my aunt's death came from a notice on my Facebook page that had been posted by one of her adult children. Then again I remember being so out of sorts after the death of my father -- and then again after the death of my sister -- that I could readily understand why my aunt's children did not bother to make telephone calls to everyone who was related to her. Especially since a notice on Facebook was much easier.

Still I had badmouthed Facebook so much in the past that it seems equally strange for me to be saying anything good about it right now. After all, as much as fun as it can be on Facebook on times, I must admit that it is not really my cup of tea. If I did not have so many friends and relatives who posted on Facebook, I would have nothing to do with it -- and even then, I can't help but noticing that my older relatives post less frequently than my younger relatives. And that most of the time I have more informative conversations with the same people through e-mail than through Facebook (no doubt because there are many things one feels more comfortable talking about through E-mail than through Facebook).

Oh, well. I will probably always have issues with Facebook but I can't pretend that it can not be a positive thing at times. After all, if it were not for Facebook, my mother and my youngest brother would have missed the opportunity to attend my aunt's funeral. And while it goes without saying that I would have wished that my aunt's funeral were still a long way off in the future, I consider it much better that my mother and my brother at least had a choice as to whether or not they would attend her funeral. After all, that choice could have been very easily taken away from them by circumstances beyond their control. Thanks to Facebook, it was not.

Movie Quote of the Week

Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
--Cary Elwes, The Princess Bride (1987)

TV Quote of the Week

People, there is death in this world and there is romance. Today -- death is the loser and romance wins.
--Tamara Taylor, Bones, "The Bikini in the Soup"

Movie Quote of the Week

You know it's funny; my mother was a mean woman, too. Nasty. There wasn't a nice bone in her body. She smoked non-stop, cheated at cards and she complained every day of her life. And you know what? There's nothing I wouldn't do for a chance to spend more time with her.
--Adrian Martinez, Pieces of April (2003)

Editor's Note: For the record, my mother is not a mean woman. Nor does she smoke, cheat at cards or complain a lot. And yet if she were to die tomorrow, I would miss her very much. Just saying.

TV Quote of the Week

You know what I find interesting? If you lose a spouse, you're called a widow or a widower. If you're a child and you lose your parents, then you're an orphan. But what's the word to describe a parent who loses a child? I guess that's just too fucking awful to even have a name.
--Rachel Griffiths, Six Feet Under, “Life’s Too Short”

Yet More Sad News About September

I found out this weekend that the type of ulcer which killed my sister this past September was a perforated ulcer. Apparently not only can it be fatal if not treated by immediate surgery but it has also killed a lot of famous people such as actor Rudolph Valentino, writer Rudyard Kipling and musician Charlie Parker. So at least she died in good company -- though, of course, I would have preferred that she not had died at all.

She is going to be sorely missed this coming Christmas.

A Death in the Family: Parte II

My sister's funeral was this past Monday. Apparently she died of an ulcer. I never thought it was possible to die of an ulcer but that is what my sister did. Heaven knows she has had her share of stress but I never realized until this past Monday that she had had enough to give her an ulcer. Moreover, it must have been her ulcer which was forcing her to throw up so much on the night before her death. Even though my brother-in-law had tried to persuade her to go to the hospital that night, she had refused to do so -- no doubt because she had no idea that the consequences of her decision would prove so fatal.

Two of my aunts came down from up north to attend the funeral and help out my mother. Both my aunts are mothers themselves and they have lost enough family over the years* to know full well what it's like to lose a loved one. They went back Thursday and their presence is sorely missed. But at least there is the chance that the next occasion I see them will be a happier one than this one.

I still do not know what to say to my brother-in-law or my sister's children. They seem to be holding up well but only time will show how well they are doing. More than a few of their neighbors have contributed food and other items to their household to help ease the transition since my sister's passing -- after all, it was unlikely that my brother-in-law was going to be showing much interest in grocery shopping for a while -- and for their sake, I am truly grateful. Some of my mother's friends have given her food as well and I am sure she was touched by their thoughtfulness.

My sister's son had a football game Thursday and the game began with a moment of silence for his mother. He supposedly dedicated his first victory to his mother as well. Which is how it should be.

I'm going to miss my little sister and I'm still puzzled as to why I had yet to shed as many external tears over her as I did over my late father. I suspect that either it will hit me harder during the coming holidays or else I am all dried out from all the tears that I am crying on the inside.

* However, neither of them have yet to lose any daughters, gracias a Dios.

Death Be Not Loud

Oh, those wacky Latinos and their crazy funeral traditions involving respect for the dead. Don't they realize that the true purpose of funerals is for therapy and that any other consideration is just plain silly and old-fashioned? At least that is the way some British and Anglo-Americans see it. And are not their viewpoints the only viewpoints that are really worth taking seriously?

At least that is the impression I got from two movies I saw recently: 2004's Eulogy and 2007's Death at a Funeral. Both were critically acclaimed comedies that were supposedly to be great -- and both were at best just okay.

Of the two, I liked Eulogy best. Granted, a lot of that was because of actress Zooey Deschanel who has the ability to make even the most modest movie she is in seem more entertaining than it should. But she also has a good cast to back her up. Hank Azaria plays her father Daniel, Piper Laurie plays her grandmother Charlotte, Debra Winger and Kelly Preston play her aunts Alice and Lucy and Glenne Headly plays a wacky nurse named Samantha. Former TV star Ray Romano is also in it as Uncle Skip but the less said about him, the better.

Toward the beginning of the film, Ms. Deschanel's character, Kate Collins, is informed that her grandfather has passed away. Her grandmother assigns her to write an eulogy but Kate does not quite know what to say. She tries to quiz her father, her uncle and her two aunts about the man who was their father but what she gets is of little if any help. Even the local pastor does not seem to know the deceased that well. As you might guess, there proves to be a reason for that.

The movie generally tries to get humor out of a number of family secrets. For example, Uncle Skip still screams for his late father's attention and has two boys who are obsessed with sex and very much into immature practical jokes. Aunt Lucy still fights with her older sister Alice over her open lesbianism and the fact that she brought her live-in partner Judy (played by Famke Janssen) with her for the funeral. Daniel mourns more for his lost career as a child star than he does his late father and supports himself with bit parts in pornographic movies. Kate's mother is dead but still manages to have an embarrassing secret. Aunt Alice seems to have the perfect family -- one that talks way less than she does -- but she too has her secrets...

At first, I suspected that this movie was one of those films that critics love for striking all the right liberal notes without really saying anything new or challenging. The type of movie that would be quite shocking to my grandmother's generation but seems almost old hat to the more liberal members of my own.

But it proved to have a few good moments -- most of them starring Ms. Deschanel, who does a good job of playing straight woman to the other characters. She does not have the showiest part in the movie but she does get to play the one character who is closest to being a recognizable human being.

The other characters have their moments too. For example, I liked Alice's conversation with Lucy about the hopes she had for her baby sister, the scene in which Skip's sons acknowledged his affection but noted that words were not necessary, and the scene in which Charlotte presented Judy with some of her old wardrobe. In other words, the movie worked best when it remembered that its characters were part of a family and not characters in some zany sitcom.

As for Death at a Funeral, that film had a similar formula. A family patriarch dies, all sorts of embarrassing secrets come out and every other family member decides to use the occasion as an impromptu therapy session. The movie did improve toward the end when a lead character got the chance to give an genuinely moving eulogy. But it still seemed like much ado about nothing, if not a self-congratulatory excuse to make movie-goers happy that “at least their family was not like that.”

Oh, well. A lot of my family's behavior around the time of my father's death in 2003 would have seemed strange to outsiders too. Then again we did manage to restrain ourselves from making public spectacles of ourselves and we bent over backwards to work out every disagreement we had over my father's estate in a peaceful manner. Plus -- and I know this might sound strange to some non-Hispanics -- we actually showed signs of missing and mourning our late father. I know that is not the type of stuff that makes for a particularly entertaining movie but then I am not quite convinced that a lot of the antics that took place in Eulogy and Death at a Funeral were all that entertaining either. Perhaps it is one of those Latino things that others would not understand.

Lethal Legacy

When I was diagnosed with diabetes a few years ago, I knew full well that I wasn't the only one in the family who had had it. After all, one of my late uncles had suffered from it too.

But I didn't know until a few years after my diagnosis that my late maternal grandfather had had it too. And so did some of my paternal cousins in Detroit. Had I known all this, I'd like to think that I would have arranged my life differently and avoided getting the disease. But then again maybe I would have gotten it anyway.

Anyway, I had long feared that my siblings were at risk for the disease as well. And last week, my worst fears came through. Not only was my middle brother diagnosed with a similar condition to my own, he was also revealed to be suffering from kidney problems and high blood pressure.

His doctors are attempting to control his condition through diet and medication but my brother is not quite as optimistic as he should be. He keeps asking me for advice and the only advice I can give him is this: listen to your doctors.

My late father died before he waited too long to consult a doctor about his health problems. I don't want my middle brother to suffer the same fate. Yet I know from experience how easy it is to react to bad news on the medical front by going into denial. When I was diagnosed with a thyroid problem, I went into denial. When I was diagnosed with diabetes, I went into denial.

I like to think I'm smarter now but when I think of the time I wasted not acting like I should because I was too proud to see myself as a victim of such-and-such medical condition...

Anyway, I have since discovered that my younger sister also has a thyroid problem. Moreover, heart trouble seems to run in the family as well. My paternal grandfather died of heart trouble and if not for an operation I had around the age of 12, I'd probably be dead of a congenital heart condition as well.

Thus far my mother and my youngest brother appear to be healthy and I pray they stay healthy for a long time. But I always thought my middle brother would stay healthy as well. And I can't help but find it curious that though my family has long prided itself on being more open with each other than most families, certain medical facts don't seem to get shared that often among us. Perhaps because it's hard to relay information that one would rather not admit knowing in the first place.

Random Thoughts

All happiness is temporary. Fortunately, so is all sadness.

My late father used to talk about how we all write our own stories. Some of us choose happy endings and some of us choose sad endings. And some of us are at the mercy of an unsympathetic editor who continually rewrites our material.

All great writers have a bit of OCD in their makeup. And, I suspect, a bit of MPD as well.

I am not so great but I do contain multitudes.

Lego ergo sum. (I read therefore I am.)

We all play our roles. Our roles are many and the roles are one.

Someday I'll die and the world will end. For me, at least. The rest of the world will most likely still be here.

Science Fiction Quote of the Week

Lying twisted and broken under the acceleration, Barlow realized that some things had not changed, that Jack Ketch was never asked to dinner however many shillings you paid him to do your dirty work, that murder will out, that crime only pays temporarily.

The last thing he learned was that death is the end of pain.
--C.M. Kornbluth, “The Marching Morons”

A Death in the Family: Parte I

I wrote a piece this morning for this very blog which I was going to post today. It was a list of my favorite Christmas songs.

Then I checked my E-mail and discovered a letter from my father's oldest sister. In the letter, she told me that one of my older cousins had passed away yesterday from heart failure. Suddenly, I lost all heart for blogging. Especially any blogging concerning cheery subjects.

Maybe next week I'll post something.

Maybe.

If not, then I wish a Merry Christmas to those few of you who read this blog. And I wish you a Happy New Year as well.

And enjoy the company of your loved ones now because you never know when they'll not be around anymore.