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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: “Beneath You”

Dawn Summers's response to last season's rape scene was a classic "Go Dawn!" moment that compared quite favorably with the rest of the season's tendency to handwave the whole incident on the grounds that well, Spike was a nice guy -- well, not really -- and besides, he was hot.

Dawn Summers needed more "Go Dawn!" moments on this show.

I liked the woman Nancy even if she was just a standard damsel in distress. Then again I have a soft spot for women named Nancy.

And Anya was being a vengeance demon again in this episode. So... trouble.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: “Lessons”

Kit Holburn and Carlos Trejo really need their own story. Some day I may write one -- especially since the writers who created them have no interest in doing so. Introducing two potential new Scoobies to be friends with Dawn Summers and then not having them in any future episodes... Well, those TV writers certainly showed us. Though it's hard to imagine any storyline involving Dawn, Kit and Carlos that could possibly be worse than some of the storylines the writers actually came up for the rest of Season Seven.

On the bright side, the opening sequence in which Buffy teaches Dawn how to be a Slayer was pretty cool. Buffy's lecture/sermon on power was a bit on the nose but still.

Robin Wood should have been a more interesting character but he wasn't. His mother Nikki Wood deserved a lot more fanfic.

The final scene involving Spike and a constantly morphing entity is a classic. Unfortunately, the rest of the season never lives up to that scene.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: “Teacher's Pet”

Poor Xander. He wanted so badly to be the hero of a Bruce Campbell movie and win the girl -- in this case, Buffy. But as usual, she ended up rescuing him far more than he ever rescued her.

Plus one of Buffy's teachers actually acted nice to her. So guess what happened to him?

And Buffy actually defeated this episode's supernatural adversary by doing research -- and by reading a book. Will wonders never cease?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: “The Pack”

After seeing the way Xander treated Buffy midway through this episode, I can sympathize with some of Buffy's actions in "When She Was Bad" much more than I expected. Especially since I can't help but suspect that the sentiments expressed by Xander while he was supposedly being possessed by the spirit of a hyena represented his true thoughts far more than I would like to believe.

But Buffy ultimately forgave him for his attempt to force himself on her so it's okay, right?

On the plus side, the show's writer discovered that the only thing cuter than a young Sarah Michelle Gellar in a short dress is a young Sarah Michelle Gellar in a short dress holding a young pig.

And Xander ultimately snapped out of his spell when he saw his beloved friend Willow in danger so once again, it's okay, right? Right?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: “When She Was Bad”

Here's a scary thought. The first few times I watched this episode, I was quite sure that Buffy's personality issues in this episode were entirely due to some curse put on her by the Master (the head villain of the first season). True, that point was never explicitly made in any of the character's actions or dialogue. But somehow I just knew that had to be the problem.

Yet upon watching it more recently, it became more and more obvious that the issues -- though obviously inspired by Buffy's near-death experience with the Master -- had nothing to do with the Master or anything else supernatural. It had to do with her. It was her true self that acted so insultingly to her friends. Her true self that took joy in teasing poor Xander with a sexy dance which ultimately left Xander frustrated and which made Willow and Angel jealous.

In a later episode, Buffy would describe the old her as a person who was even more shallow than Cordelia. In this episode, we got a glimpse of that person and though it was tempting to say that the Buffy we saw as a result wasn't really Buffy, it would seem more accurate to say that the Buffy we saw in this episode was a Buffy that most of us would have preferred not to see. Yet the writers showed her to us anyway. More power to them.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: “Witch”

This was one of the episodes to prove that this show would be about a lot more than vampires though I mostly think about it as the episode that introduced us to Amy Madison, a young teenager who aspired to follow in her mother's footsteps and become a cheerleader only to face considerable obstacles -- obstacles that a mysterious someone tried to remove through black magic.

I've gotten so used to seeing how the Amy Madison character appeared in more recent episodes that I forgot she was originally quite blonde. During the next few seasons, her hair color got darker and darker until it was a wonder that she did not have the same hair color as Cordelia. Of course,there were a few seasons when her character was supposedly stuck being a rat due to a self-inflicted spell. And interestingly enough, I've always been a bit curious why the show never focused more on how she adjusted to being human again after that. Oh, well. Writers...

Other thoughts:

Funny Xander. Treating Willow as just another girl-shaped guy to share guy thoughts with instead of as an actual girl.

Funny Buffy. Treating Xander almost the same way -- as a guy-shaped girl to share girl thoughts with.

Robin Riker played an especially good villainess. And her fate -- self-inflicted, of course -- still gives various online commentators nightmares.

Plus -- you know -- cheerleaders.

Buffy looked very cute in her cheerleader outfit. It was a darn shame that the show did not permit her to wear it more often.

Did I mention that this episode had cheerleaders?

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The Big Bang Theory: "The Scavenger Vortex"

Cool! Amy Farrah Fowler and Howard Wolowitz both liked Neil Diamond.

Moreover, they expressed their like in such an over-the-top way that even though it was supposed to be funny, I could not help wanting to join in as well.

And oh, yes, other people were in this episode too. But who really cares about them?

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The Big Bang Theory: "The Stockholm Syndrome"

In real life, actress Sarah Michelle Gellar is a 42-year-old married woman who has two kids. Since she is married to actor Freddie Prinze Jr., it's tempting to call her an honorary Latina -- because hey, why not? I've always liked her since I first saw her in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I'm glad to see that she is still acting.

And yet I could not help but find it weird that when she made a cameo appearance in the final episode of The Big Bang Theory, she was basically presented as little more than a trophy date, an unmarried celebrity hottie who apparently had nothing better to do than accompany Big Bang Theory character Raj Koothrappali to the Nobel Prize ceremony in Stockholm.

Yes, it seems foolish to expect much of an enlightened attitude from The Big Bang Theory but still. And that's without getting into the symbolic implications of having Raj break up with his Indian girlfriend in the previous episode so that he could be free to date a blonde-haired white non-Indian.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: “Crush”

I have been researching a lot of old Buffy episodes in order to prepare for my latest Buffy fanfic story and I'm kinda surprised what thoughts come to mind watching such episodes nowadays that didn't occur to me when I first watched them. For example, there was a scene in this story where the vampire Spike kept professing his love for the title character over and over again, only to have his feelings mocked and rejected. Granted, this was a character who spent his first two seasons on the show trying his damnedest to kill the Slayer so it is kinda hard not to see why Buffy might be shocked by this latest turn of events. Then again one can't help but wonder how this reaction of Buffy's would be received by the TV audience if it were a female vampire -- like, say, Drusilla -- professing her love for Buffy instead of a more conventional choice like Spike.

Okay, it does not necessarily have to be Spike's ex-girlfriend Drusilla in the scenario I mentioned above but it is kinda hard to hear Buffy continually talk about how disgusting the idea of Spike loving her was to her without thinking of an obvious parallel in the real world. You could say that people no longer act like that nowadays but one would wonder how much of the idea that "people no longer act like that" is based on wishful thinking. Prejudices don't always go away easily and given the way many scenes in Buffy have rightly or wrongly been alleged to have a gay subtext, one can't help but wonder whether or not this is one of them.

Of course I might be biased on the whole matter because I've written quite a number of fanfic stories -- both serious and not so serious -- about the odd relationship between Buffy and Drusilla, and it has gotten to the point that even when I try to write a Buffy story that doesn't have Drusilla in it, she nevertheless finds a way to enter the storyline. In many ways, I find her more interesting than other female vampire characters on the show like Darla and Sunday because -- among other things -- she doesn't even try to act normal. She is not always as crazy as she pretends to be and she's certainly not as likable as her fans would hope but she is interesting to write about. I can't help but see her as kind of an anti-Buffy -- a woman who -- like Buffy Summers -- was cursed with an unwanted supernatural power and rejected by a mother who did not understand her gifts. I don't believe that it would be fair to argue that Drusilla is basically what Buffy would be like if she ever became a vampire but she is not as dissimilar from Buffy as I once would have liked to believe.

Anyway, there is another scene in this episode in which Drusilla tries to persuade Buffy that even a vampire has the ability to love. That said love is real and not a thinly disguised parody of the real thing. Again, one can't help but think of real-life parallels. And one doesn't necessarily have to confine such parallels to the gay community either. The deepest heterosexual feelings I ever felt were for a woman who was never my official girlfriend -- yet in my own way, I loved her more seriously than many of my more "official" romantic interests. And in her own way, she showed more affection to me than I ever received from many women whom I actually dated.

Anyway, we all have a tendency to read our own issues into the stories that we see on both the big screen and the little screen. And sometimes these readings are even true.

Edited to Add:

Further Thoughts on This Episode:

Cool! Drusilla traveled to Sunnydale via Amtrak. So odd to see an American TV show episode set in the early 21th century that had people traveling by train.

The opening in which various train passengers were attacked by an unseen assailant was well-done. So was the final fight scene, which involved a tied-up Drusilla getting herself loose so that she could attack a chained-up Buffy. If nothing else, that scene made me realize how rare it was to see a scene on this show where Drusilla and Buffy actually fight each other.

Poor Harmony Kendall attempted to win Spike over by doing the world's worst impression of Buffy Summers ever.

Dawn attempted to bond with Spike and annoyed the heck out of her big sister by doing so. Because apparently certain traits -- like befriending vampires -- run in the family.

Spike was easily one of the most popular characters on this show -- especially with female fans. But many of his actions on this show seemed at best questionable. For example, his attempt to persuade Buffy to give him a chance by offering to stake Drusilla seemed so obviously destined to fail that it was surprising that a smart guy like Spike thought of it. If nothing else, Buffy would have to have been insane to look at the way Spike was treating his once-beloved Drusilla and not see a vision of the type of treatment that she could expect from Spike if she ever chose to let him fall in love with her. And Spike was an idiot for not seeing that.

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The Neighborhood: "Welcome to Thanksgiving"

In this episode, actress Marilu Henner of Taxi fame plays a racist grandmother who hails from the state of Michigan.

For what it's worth, I, Tonio Kruger, also had a racist grandmother who hailed from the state of Michigan -- and Marilu Henner's character is so mild compared to her that I can't help but wonder how many real-life racists the producers of this episode ever actually met.

I realize that there's not much room for intellectual discussion in a thirty-minute TV show but I can't help thinking about the many Norman Lear sitcoms I saw growing up that were far more edgy than this. Whatever happened to them?

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The Neighborhood: "Pilot"

There is undoubtedly a great TV comedy to be made about modern-day race relations in the U.S. -- but this isn't it.

However, the scene in which one of the white guy's neighbors tries to explain why a black man can't possibly be racist seems quite funny in the light of recent events -- but not in the way that the screenwriter intended.

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Shameless (U.S.): “You'll Know the Bottom When You Hit It”

The first time I saw this episode, I could not help but wonder how many of the people I used to argue with on the Internet saw me as the male equivalent of Fiona Gallagher, particularly the Fiona Gallagher who appeared halfway through this episode. Heck, even I could not help seeing some unflattering parallels between me and Fiona -- and I'm not even Irish. Nor do I drink. And I certainly never owned a building...

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Shameless (U.S.): “Los Diablos!”

Every time I'm tempted to write this show off as just one long exercise in bad taste, it manages to come up with surprising sharp -- if not always subtle -- social commentary. For example. it seems to be the one show on TV right now which seems to show a little sympathy for the people who have seen their jobs disappear due to changing technology and in this episode, it actually bothered to tackle the very controversial subject of interracial prejudice -- specifically black-on-Hispanic prejudice -- without the usual PC rationalizations. So, good job.

Granted, it might have been nice if the writers had come up with a better solution than having the nice brown-skinned people just go away but I suppose it could have been worse. At least, they tried to depict the problem in a relatively honest fashion without the usual pretenses about how such a problem would never occur in an all-white neighborhood.

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Alfred Hitchcock Presents: “Beta Delta Gamma”

Wait! There was an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents that managed to include both classic horror actress Barbara Steele and the late Barbara Harris among its cast members? Why doesn't anyone tell me these things?

Of course, the roles Harris and Steele were relatively minor compared to the roles both actresses would later become famous for. Indeed, if you did not already know they were in this episode, you might not have guessed that the characters they were playing were played by them. (I certainly didn't.)

Anyway, the plot involved a party in a beach house involving various members of the Beta Delta Gamma fraternity and their girlfriends. (Hence the title of the episode.) During the party, one of the frat boys drank so much alcohol that he literally passed out. One of the girls suggested that the other members play a nasty prank on him by arranging to have him believe that he killed another frat member while he was drunk. His best friend then volunteered to be shot up with a drug that reduced his breathing to nearly undetectable levels so that he could play the role of said corpse. The remaining frat members then fled to another residence to await the results of their prank, only to eventually find out...

Ah! To say more would be telling. Suffice it to say that the ending of this episode might end up haunting your dreams. It certainly did mine the first time I saw it in my twenties. And yet it has lingered in my memory far longer than more famous episodes even though I first saw it in media res and never knew the title of this episode until just this past week.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: "The Weight of the World"

Warning: Plot Spoilers

Leave it to Joss Whedon and his writing staff to come up with what seems like the ultimate metaphor for certain online discussions concerning race and ethnicity, if not politics in general. I don't generally identify with Spike but I can't help but identify with his character here since I often feel the same way when I'm discussing certain issues online -- especially when I'm discussing "Hispanic" issues.

Of course there is a more apolitical approach I could take to this same scene but eh, what fun would that be?

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Agent Carter: "Bridge and Tunnel"

Peggy Carter went undercover as a blonde to investigate a crooked weapons dealer who was alleged to have stolen some inventions from Howard Stark -- Tony Stark's father. (Does this mean that Peggy was actually -- No, that couldn't be.)

Anyway, Peggy Carter discovered a ring of mysterious secret agents -- all of whom lacked voiceboxes. She also uncovered news of a mysterious organization called Leviathan -- an organization apparently named by someone who was a very big fan of English philosopher Thomas Hobbes.

Plus a lot of neat stuff blew up. But you probably guessed that part.

And toward the end, Peggy endeared herself to a waitress in a local diner by helping her deal with a rather obnoxious customer. See, it is sometimes a good idea to be kind to foreigners...

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Agent Carter: “Now is Not the End”

Supergirl made a big deal out of the rather obvious family connection between its title character and Superman -- and oddly enough, it has managed to last four seasons. Agent Carter for the most part downplayed the obvious connection between its title character and Captain America -- and it barely lasted two seasons. There is a lesson there, methinks.

Anyway, I always had a soft spot for Agent Carter and I was always a bit disappointed that the show itself was not more successful. It did not help that in an age where almost every bad TV show gets countless commercials advertising its presence, the show itself got little if any publicity. I did not catch up with the show until the second season but even then I could not help admiring its gift for witty dialogue and suspenseful plotlines. However, my opinion has proved to be a minority one.

Anyway in this episode, Peggy did a lot of investigating for a government agency known as the Strategic Scientific Reserve and uncovered a plot which indirectly led to the murder of her roommate. Will her poor roommate be avenged? Inquiring minds want to know.

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Weeds: “No Man Is Pudding”

I've been wanting to avoid talking about certain episodes of the fourth season of Weeds because that was when the show started to become maddeningly uneven. Not because of the Mexican characters. In fact, when I look back at that season, I get more irritated by the white non-Hispanic characters like the one played by Albert Brooks. But I get a sense from certain online comments by fans of Weeds that the whole show started going downhill in the fourth season because the main character Nancy Botwin got involved with Mexicans and that was the fault of the Mexican characters that the show kept going downhill. I don't agree with that argument. However, I suspect that a lot of people out there do.

In any event, "No Man Is Pudding" is one of my favorite episodes of Weeds if for no other reason that it has such a surreally WTF-type ending. I have tried several times to try to think of a written description that could do it justice but perhaps the best way to describe it is to show you this.



And yes, that was Demián Bichir of A Better Life fame standing there at the end with a big cigar in his hand. For that matter, Mary-Louise Parker -- aka Nancy Botwin -- also put on a pretty good performance even though most of it in that sequence was just a reaction.

Anyway, with all this talk about building a wall on the Mexican-U.S, border, I could not help thinking of this sequence as the ultimate argument against such a project. There are obviously more idealistic reasons but I don't see President Trump paying much attention to those. "They're just going to go under it" is no doubt far from the best argument I can come up with but at least there is a small -- very small -- chance that he might listen to it. But who knows?

Then again there have already been real-life examples of that tunnel -- and yet Trump is still trying to go ahead with his Wall project. Heck, there was even one on the Canadian-U.S. border. I'm kinda surprised that we haven't heard more about that one.

And now I'm imagining a bunch of Canadians in Ontario digging a tunnel under the Detroit River and finally saying upon its completion. "Okay, hosers! We're open for business."

Hmmm.

Perhaps I'm better off thinking about that tunnel in terms of yonic symbolism. Nancy Botwin stares into a tunnel and sees -- what, exactly? Life? Death? A path to heaven? Her own -- ahem -- yoni? The mind boggles at the possibilities. I might have to write another essay about this episode very soon. We'll see.

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Doctor Who (The Second Series): “The Sound of Drums”

If "Utopia" -- the previous episode to this episode deserved credit for having the best cliffhanger endings of the second series of Doctor Who, this episode deserved equal credit -- or rather blame -- for having one of the show's dumber endings.

It did have some clever bits -- such as using a version of the Doctor Who theme to represent the sound that was driving John Simm's Master character crazy. But for the most part, it seemed too melodramatic even for me -- and I usually like melodrama.

The plot can be best be summed by these song lyrics:

John Simm: I’m number one, you’re Doctor Who.

We’re aliens at large, but I’m at larger than you.

I’m number one, you’re Doctor Who.
I believe in equality as long as you get less than me.
I’m one, you’re Doctor Who.
You may think that you’re smarter, but I’m smarter-er than you.

I’m number one, you’re Doctor Who.
You’re lucky to be Doctor Who not Doctor She.

I can see by the look in your eye
You want to get a bigger piece of the pie.
One day you’ll get your chance
But in the meantime you’ve got to dance, doctor, dance!

David Tennant: Really?

John Simm: Do it, dance, Doctor, dance!

A-ha!

David Tennant: I’m Doctor Who, he’s number one.
I can’t believe I’m working for a Gallifreyan.
I’m Doctor Who, he’s number one.

John Simm: I’M NUMBER ONE!

David Tennant: You know life ain’t worth shit, when your boss is a twit.
I can see it’s just a matter of time
Before he’s gone and I’m at the front of the line.
It won’t be long ’til I’ll get my chance.
But in the meantime, I’ve got to dance, Doctor, dance.

John Simm: That’s it, number two! Come on, dance, Doctor, dance!
Now watch me…

John Simm: I’m number one. David Tennant: He’s number one.

John Simm: You’re Doctor Who. David Tennant: I’m Doctor Whoooooo.

John Simm: That’s it kid, there you go. Now step aside, this ain’t your show!

John Simm: I’m one. David Tennant: I’m one.

John Simm: I’m number one. David Tennant: Yes, we know.

John Simm: I’m number one.

David Tennant: He’s number one.

John Simm: That’s how it’s done.

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Doctor Who (The Second Series): “The Tsuranga Conundrum”

If “Kill the Moon” was supposed to be Doctor Who's idea of a pro-life story, this episode is their version of a -- what? -- pro-choice episode? The little alien who threatens to eat everything did seem like an apt metaphor for the way little babies sometimes are. But surely that's just a coincidence, right?