My Personal Rules for Writing Fanfic

1. Follow the story wherever it goes.

2. All pop culture characters know each other; they just don't always know that they know each other.

3. When in doubt, set your story in an alternative universe.

4. If a solution seems way too easy, it obviously isn't.

5. When writing the actual story, it's always better to ask forgiveness than permission.

Movie Quote of the Week

Excuse me. What are you doing? Yeah, you. Were you just putting that book away?

It looked like you were just... putting that book away. I guess you didn't know we have a system for putting books away here. Now I'm curious. You were just randomly putting that book on the shelf, is that it?

You've just given us a great idea. I mean, why are we wasting our time with the Dewey Decimal System when your system is so much easier? Much easier. We'll just put the books anywhere. Hear that, everybody?! Our friend here has given us a great idea! We'll just put the books any DAMN place we choose! We don't care, right? Isn't that right?
--Parker Posey, Party Girl (1995)

Movie Quote of the Week

Hey, these aren’t my rules....Come to think of it, I don’t have any rules.
--Michael Keaton, Beetlejuice (1988)

Rules of the Internet (Reglas del Internet)

1. The same person who complains about having been insulted during adolescence due to his or her appearance will inevitably feel obliged to insult the appearance of various celebrities on a regular basis.

2. The same blogger who gave a rave review to the latest Hollywood film denouncing materialism will devote more than a few blog posts to bragging about all the nice stuff he or she has.

3. The same person who regularly denounces people for using dirty political tactics will routinely write about certain political candidates in the nastiest way possible.

4. The same person who regularly raves about lowbrow films will be the same person who complains about the large number of dumb movies released by Hollywood.

5. The same person who regularly ridicules all the people who went shopping on Black Friday will inevitably spend a ton of money while shopping online on Cyber Monday.

6. The same person who regularly complains about the growing trend toward anti-intellectualism in American society is the same person who will rarely admit to reading a book that wasn’t written by J. K. Rowling.

7. The same person who talks about Hollywood not spending enough time dwelling on class issues will also complain about having to rub elbows with the masses at the local movie theatre.

8. The same person who regularly writes about how stupid religious people are will regularly champion lowbrow movies.

9. The same blogger who brags about how little he or she cares what people thinks about him or her will inevitably take offense at any readers who choose to qualify a compliment by noting that they don’t always agree with the blogger in question.

10. The same blogger who complains about Hollywood filmmakers interjecting politics into their work will inevitably interject politics into his or her work…

Rules of the World (Reglas del Mundo)

1. Any problem that affects the rich is a problem that has to be solved right away.
2. Any problem that affects the poor is a problem whose solution can be put off indefinitely.
3. The one group the rich hate more than the poor who are content with their lot are the poor who are discontent with their lot. And the one part of that group that the rich hate the most are the poor who dare to become rich.