Pity the Poor First Husband: Kisses for My President

Contrary to whatever impression the recent Hillary Clinton campaign might have given you, Hollywood hasn't made all that many movies about a female President in the White House. Indeed, apart from the 1964 movie Kisses for My President, it's difficult for me to think of one. And even Kisses for My President leaves more than a bit to be desired on the cinematic front.

For what it was worth, Polly Bergen made a fine impression as Leslie Harrison McCloud, the first woman president of the United States. But sadly the movie wasn't really about her. It was about her husband Thad (played by Fred MacMurray).

Thad used to be a big industrialist before his wife got elected, but now she was in the White House, he was just another First Spouse with little to do save for keeping out of trouble and attending meaningless social events -- a situation which was just fine for previous presidential spouses but not for Thad. Because he was a guy, you know. And according to the dogma of 1964 Hollywood, guy problems were much more important than woman problems.

Eventually he did get into trouble -- first when he was entertaining a conniving Latin American dictator named Raphael Valdez Jr. (played by Eli Wallach) and then again when he was almost seduced by a job offer from an ex-girlfriend named Doris Weaver (played by Arlene Dahl). For that matter, the children had issues too but the movie was not as interested in those issues as it was in the plight of poor Tad.

In any event, the movie was not a complete loss. Despite all the attention focused on Fred MacMurray, Polly Bergen managed to do a good job of convincingly portraying a female president, especially in the scenes in which she stood up to a patronizing U.S. senator (played by Edward Andrews) and Raphael Valdez Jr. Nor did Ms. Bergen have a monopoly on good roles. Wallach managed to play his role in a memorable fashion and it didn't hurt that he had a few good scenes with John Banner, an actor best known for playing Sgt. Schultz on the TV series Hogan's Heroes but seen in this film playing the role of the Soviet Ambassador.

Unfortunately, by turning the fictional story of the first female president into a romantic comedy and focusing primarily on male issues, the movie eventually undermined itself to the point that it's no surprise that it rarely seems to be mentioned in movie buff circles. If I had to pick the worst part of the film, it would be the ending which was the setup for a really bad one-liner by Mr. MacMurray that has not improved with age. Of course, Kisses for My President would not be the last Hollywood film to reflect a dubious attitude towards the Women's Liberation Movement. But it is one of the most obvious ones.

R.I.P. Eli Wallach

American actor Eli Wallach -- most famous for his roles in such films as the 1966 Western The Good, the Bad and the Ugly and the 2006 comedy The Holiday -- walked off the set of his life on June 24 at age 98.

He will be missed.

All the Things That I Have Seen

1. Night at the Museum (2006).

America apparently loves actor Dick Van Dyke. Why else would they have made this flick such a favorite at the holiday box office? Of course, Dick Van Dyke's character does not come off looking too well in this movie. So maybe America hates Dick Van Dyke. Maybe whom they really love is actor Ben Stiller. After all, he's the real star of the movie and is in far more scenes than Dick Van Dyke. Plus he plays the hero.

Then again, Ben Stiller also plays a guy who gets urinated upon by a monkey. And getting urinated upon by jungle animals is not a trait one generally associates with America's most liked movie stars. So maybe America hates Ben Stiller. If he keeps making flicks this lame, they definitely should.

In any event, there once was a time when Dick Van Dyke was a young and popular comic actor just like Ben Stiller is today. It would be nice to see this flick as a symbolic passing of the comic torch from one generation of comic actors (represented by Mr. Van Dyke) to another (represented by Mr. Stiller). But unfortunately, one only need consider the sorry fate of Mr. Van Dyke's character -- who is basically humiliated by the end of this flick -- to find that kind of symbolism depressing.

No doubt Mr. Stiller one day will be as old as Dick Van Dyke is today. And he too might some day find himself playing in the same movie as the hot young comic actor of the day. Will he fare better then than Mr. Van Dyke did in this movie?

Er, I wouldn't bet the rent money on it...

2. The Holiday (2006).

It's Kate Winslet. In a black swimsuit. And oh, yes, there's a story too. As well as scenes in which Kate Winslet is not wearing a black swimsuit. But it's still good anyway.

Kate's character befriends a feisty old guy (played by Eli Wallach), meets cute with a feisty young guy (played by Jack Black), and basically hangs out in a fancy California mansion.

Unfortunately, there's also Cameron Diaz. Who looks like a Barbie. Not like Latina Barbie or Cubana Barbie. Plain old everyday all-American Barbie.

Which is quite well for the one scene in which she is required to play someone who looks like a Barbie. But, unfortunately, her character is required to do more than that. She's required to meet cute with Jude Law and outact a dog and meet cute with two adorable British moppets and have a big emotional confrontation with her ex-boyfriend that unfortunately is less convincing than her big scene with the dog.

Oh, well. There's still Kate Winslet. In a black swimsuit. Who tells us moviegoers all about the pain and misery of unrequited love. (Which is certainly a subject I can identify with.)

Of course, I can't help but wonder about the sanity of any straight British male who can't find it in his heart to love Kate Winslet. But that's a subject for another day.