Pop Song of the Week: "Historically Accurate Disney Princess Song"

A certain online critic on my blogwall is always calling for more items about princesses. I'm not sure if this is exactly what she had in mind but this certainly qualifies. Of course, it also provides ample proof that Rachel Bloom of "Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury" fame is not just another one-trick pony.

Poema de Mi Id: Parte X

"I've Got No Mask"

With apologies to Robert W. Chambers and Walt Disney

I've got no mask
To hide my shame
To hide my face
Or hide my name.
I had a mask
But now I'm free.
There are no masks on me.

Bare-faced the me-ri-o
That's the only way to go.
I want the world to know
Nothing ever worries me.

I've got no mask
So I have fun
I'm not tied up to anyone.
They've got masks
But you can see
There are no masks on me.

Cuento de Mi Id

"It's a Wonderful Life: An Alternative Ending"

That night, after a long day of breaking rocks and cursing Uncle Billy, George Bailey lay on his prison bunk and dreamt of libraries.

And librarians.

And hydrangea bushes.

But mostly of libraries, thanks to that damned Hays code.

Cuento de Mi Id

"It's a Good Strife"

"But if you do that, Mr. President, all the crops will die!"

"You gentlemen want to go into the cornfield?"

"On second thought, that was a good thing you did, Mr. President. That was a very good thing."

Cuento de Mi Id

"King Kong: An Alternative Ending"

"It wasn't the airplanes that killed him. It was the corrupt workings of our profit-driven economic system."

"You mean--"

"That's right. It was booty that killed the beast."

Fiddler on the Roof 2018

"Rabbi, is there a proper blessing for the current U.S. President?"

"A proper blessing for the current U.S. President? May God bless the President... and keep him far away from us."

* Cue laughter *

Poema de Mi Id: Parte V

“Babelands”

Poor girls want to be rich.
Rich girls want to be queen,
And a queen ain't satisfied
Till she rules everything.

Cuento de Mi Id

“The November Country”

by Ramón Bradamante

It was the November Country...

That country where prosperity was always around the corner... The country where the bottoms were always foggy and the promises always broken; where votes go quickly and taxes linger, and debts stay. That country composed in the main of smoky rooms, grassy knolls, no-tell motels, credibility gaps and future monuments. That country where people are election people, forever chasing dreams and the occasional chad. Where people perpetually pay for the future while living in the past and hoping for the present -- if not a present.

Christmas Movies We Will Never See

1. Indiana Jones and the Lost Corpse of Christ.

2. Miracle on Elm Street.

3. Nativity Scene of the Living Dead.

4. Strip Club Santa.

5. A Corleone Christmas.

6. It's a Wonderful Death.

7. The Sweatshop Around the Corner.

Christmas Song Lyrics We Will Never Hear

1. "In the midnight hour, he cried, "Ho, ho, ho!
With an Elvish yell, he cried, "Ho, ho, ho!"

2. "Ground control to Major Claus,
Ground control to Major Claus..."

3. "The lunatic is on the roof...
the lunatic is on the roof..."

Christmas TV Specials We Will Never See

1. A Clothing Optional Christmas.

2. The Richard Dawkins Christmas Special.

3. The William Butler Yeats Christmas Special.

Movie Song of the Week: "Tale of the Shirt"

From the 1929 comedy The Cocoanuts, it's the Marx Brothers and company with their rendition of a famous tune from the opera Carmen. And boy do they rend it!

Movie Titles That Will Never Be Used by Christopher Nolan

A Dark Knight's Tale
A Tale of Two Gothams
A Specter Is Haunting Gotham
Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right
Dark Knight Invisible
Dark Knight Unbound
Fear and Loathing in Gotham City
Gotham Revisited
O Dark Knight, Where Art Thou?
Reflections on the Revolution in Gotham
The Dark Knight Also Rises
The Dark Knight Always Triumphs
The Dark Knight Strikes Back
The Doom That Came to Gotham
The Masque of the Dark Knight
The Queen of Air and Dark Knights

Pensamientos Acerca de Televisión

Community: “Regional Holiday Music”

Here we are in February and I finally have discovered the most memorable Christmas special of last year: Community's 2011 holiday episode. Adding to the fun of the episode was a splendid parody of Glee, an even more splendid parody of "Santa Baby" and a classic parody of Doctor Who. And oh, yeah, I hear Community is a fun sitcom about a community college even when its writers aren't parodying things. Who ever thought that actor Chevy Chase would ever be on a funny TV show again?

Laugh of the Week: "All I Want for Christmas Is...Jews"

Oy, vey! Such grammar in that song title, Mariah. You really should be ashamed of yourself.

Pop Song of the Week: “Amish Paradise”

No, this song was not inspired by any recent political events. And that's Florence Henderson of The Brady Bunch playing the Michelle Pfeiffer role, not Angela Kinsey from The Office.

Trailer of the Week: Airplane! (1980)

It looks like I picked the wrong week to keep posting movie trailers.

Pop Song of the Week: “Psycho Chicken”

Who says the songs of the 1980s were not witty and sophisticated?

Lines H.P. Lovecraft Never Meant to Write

Searchers after whores haunt strange, far places.

Unhappy is she to whom the memories of maidenhood bring only fear and sadness.

But by God, Eliot, it was a phonograph from life.

Lust is a hideous thing, and from the background behind which we know of peer demonical hints of truth which make it sometimes a thousand fold more hideous.

Poema de Mi Id: Parte III

“Poe-Try”

While the demons, all pallid and wan,
Uprising, unveiling, affirm
That the play is the tragedy, “Lust”,
And its hero the Conjugal Worm.