The Weekly “News”

Hugo Chavez is the new Castro.
Katrina refugees are the new Marielitos.
Islam is the new Communism.
Iran is the new Iraq.
Iraq is the new Lebanon.
Spanish is the new English.
English is the new Latin.
Latin is the new Sanskrit.
Taiwan is the new Hong Kong.
China is the new Russia.
Al-Qaeda is the new PLO.
Pirates are the new cowboys.
Mel Gibson is the new Brando.
Rap is the new rock.
Rock is the new country.
Country is the new disco.
DVRs are the new VCRs.
Cyberspace is the new heroin.
Youtube is the new crack.