Three Films I'd Like to Pretend I Saw the Day Before Election Day

1. The Great McGinty (1940).

The classic Preston Sturges satire of politics involving a rags-to-riches politico who ends up in hot water the minute he tries to reform the political system. If that plot sounds similar to Warren Beatty's Bulworth, well... I doubt that's a coincidence. But at least Sturges doesn't try to insert cheap pathos into his flick by having his protagonist suffer a tragic fate. Plus there are no OJ jokes. Nor the pretense that OJ jokes made two years after everyone got sick of OJ jokes are especially daring...

2. State of the Union (1948).

The classic Hepburn-Tracy film in which Spencer Tracy runs for President while -- whoa! -- fending off special interests, spin doctors -- in 1948! -- and romantic scandal. (Yes, Presidential candidates had extramarital affairs even in 1948. How odd!)

3. The Candidate (1972).

The classic Robert Redford political film about the Vietnam War era campaign of yet another would-be reformer who ends up being swallowed by the system. Don't these people ever learn?

What I actually saw:

1. The Old Dark House (1932)
2. I Married a Witch (1942)
3. The Barkleys of Broadway (1949)

I suppose I can read political implications into the last three if I try...

1. The Political Implications of The Old Dark House:

A. Rain is a bad thing.
B. So is fire.
C. Nobody likes uninvited guests.
D. Or drunken servants.
E. Chorus girls are people too.
F. So are rich widowers.
G. Creepy religious people tend to be... well... creepy.
H. People who propose in haste end up falling for the strangest people.

2. The Political Implications of I Married a Witch:

A. The Puritans were a bunch of fuddy-duddys.
B. Witches are more fun if less socially responsible.
C. One should always be careful about that which one drinks.
D. Marriage for political ends is not a good thing.
E. However, there are times in which one's spouse can prove quite convenient for a last-minute political campaign.
F. Beware of people who tend to smoke excessively.
G. And who pay no attention to highway signs.
H. Unconventional relationships can prove more rewarding than those endorsed by respectable society.
I. One should always return borrowed items as quickly as possible.
J. People who like cats can't be all bad.
K. Sometimes it's good to bottle up one's problems.

3. The Political Implications of The Barkleys of Broadway:

A. You can't keep a good Republican girl down.
B. Don't trust the French.
C. On the other hand, you can trust the French as long as you don't let them get any ideas.
D. You never know until you try.
E. When all else fails, recite “La Marseillaise.”

Oh, well. At least I didn't waste my time this past week watching Swing Vote.