“Indy, The Torch Is Going Out”: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Ok, I'm not going to pretend that I didn't enjoy certain aspects of the new movie Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It was fun hearing the familiar John Williams theme again. It was fun seeing Karen Allen again. It was nice to see a tip of the hat given to the late Denholm Elliott and his character of Marcus Brody. It was nice to see Harrison Ford go through the same old how-the-heck-is-he-going-to-get-out-of-this-one routine even though he's getting to the point where he's not exactly young enough to make a convincing action hero. And it was fun to see actress Cate Blanchett play Soviet villainess Irina Spalko, a character whom I kept wanting to call Evil Ninotchka if for no other reason than the fact that she's already inspired way too many Natasha Fatale jokes on the Internet.

Oddly enough, my mother was more eager to see this movie than I was. In fact, she and my sister saw it the day before I did. (In view of the way I had to talk her into seeing the first Indiana Jones movie, I can't help but find that ironic.)

So what didn't I like about the movie? Well, if you have to ask, you obviously haven't seen the movie yet.

No, seriously, there is a lot to dislike in this movie, including the not-so-entertaining secret traitor subplot -- which was only believable if one believes Indy got hit on the head once too often during the course of his career -- and the rather arbitrary Chariots of the Gods subplot. There is even a rather clumsy attempt at political commentary that doesn't quite work as well as one would like. (So much for the suggestion that Spielberg is going to be following in the footsteps of the late Sydney Pollack.)

After seeing how well actress Elisabeth Sladen was photographed in recent episodes of The Sarah Jane Adventures, I couldn't help but find it a little disturbing to note how unflattering Ms. Allen (a far younger actress than Ms. Sladen) looked by comparison. Was this just misogynistic camerawork or does Ms. Sladen have a far better makeup crew than Ms. Allen? Inquiring minds wish to know.

Nor did I care for the inevitable illegitimate child subplot though the filmmakers make up for this with a rather nicely done audience-pleasing sequence toward the end of the film. Then there is the fact that none of Indy's Soviet foes -- not even Evil Ninotchka -- are ever as convincingly characterized as the villains in the first Indy movies. (Indeed, even the rather vanilla villains of the last Indiana Jones movie seem like Iago compared to these guys.) There is a rather scary sequence involving a couple of Peruvian graverobbers who had obviously seen Casino Royale once too often. And there also exists the inevitable shout-out to Indy's fear of snakes.

However, the grand finale just didn't grab me the same way the grand finale of the first movie did. Perhaps the film will grow on me the same way the last two Indy movies did. But I wouldn't hold my breath.

And though it might be argued that this Indy movie was better than any of us skeptics initially feared, I could not help thinking as the end credits rolled: all this time and this was the best they could do?

Yes, I know. I'm hard to please.