Things You Aren't Supposed to Mention If You're a Mexican-American

1. Your relative who is a convict.
2. Your relative who is a cop.
3. Your relative who is a narcotics detective.
4. Your relative who is an illegal alien.
5. Your relative who is a naturalized citizen.
6. Your relative who was a migrant worker.
7. Your relative who went to see a curandero.
8. Your relative who got healed by a curandero.
9. Your relative who lives in a bad neighborhood.
10. Your relative who lives in a good neighborhood.
11. Your relative who is a homosexual.
12. Your relative who conceived a child out of wedlock.
13. Your relative who married a second cousin.
14. Your relative who married a first cousin.
15. Your relative who married a non-Catholic.
16. Your relative who married a non-white (especially if the spouse in question is not Hispanic).
17. Your relative who married a fellow Hispanic.
18. Your relative who used to be on welfare, especially if he or she is no longer on welfare and owes his or her departure from the welfare state more to familia than gobierno.
19. Your relative who killed his own son.
20. Your relative who saved his mother's life at the cost of his own life by stepping in front of his father's gun.

Of course, the one thing you should always realize is that most people don't really want to hear about Mexican-Americans in the first place.

After all, it's not like they ever do anything important.